Springsteen

To this day when I hear that song
I see you standin' there all night long
Discount shades, store-bought tan, flip flops and cut off jeans
Somewhere between that set and the sun
I'm on fire, I'm born to run
You looked at me and I was done
Well, we're just gettin' started
I was singin' to you, you were singin' to me
I was so alive, never been more free
Fired up my daddy's lighter, we sang oh woah woah
Stayed there till' they forced us out,
Took the long way to your house,
I can still hear the sound of you sayin' don't go.

When I think about you, I think about seventeen
I think about my old jeep, I think about the stars in the sky
Funny how the melody sounds like a memory,
Like a soundtrack to a july saturday night.
Springsteen.

I bumped into you by happenstance,
Probably wouldn't even know who I am
But if I whispered your name I bet, still be a spark.
Back when I was gasoline, and this old tattoo had brand new ink,
And we didn't care what your momma thinks about your name on my arm.
Baby is it spring or is it summer,
The guitar sound or the beat of that drummer
You hear sometimes late at night on your radio.
Even though you're a million miles away,
When you hear Born In The USA,
You relive those glory days so long ago.

When you think about me, do you think about seventeen
Do you think about my old jeep, think about the stars in the sky
Funny how the melody sounds like a memory,
Like a soundtrack to a july saturday night.
Springsteen.

Springsteen

(X2)
Oh woah woahh oh
Oh woah woahh oh
Oh woah woahh oh oh oh

Funny how the melody sounds like a memory,
Like a soundtrack to a july saturday night.
Springsteen
Springsteen
Oh Springsteen

(X4)
Oh woah woahh oh
Oh woah woahh oh
Oh woah woahh oh oh oh

The Friend Zone.

Dating these days is so stinking complicated. But the sad thing is, is that it doesn't have to be! If we put aside our cell phones, tinder, facebook, and whatever other non-face-to-face thing we use then what would we have? Some would say nothing. Well then if that really is your answer then I feel bad for you! By the way, you're probably lacking in vitamin D if your life revolves around technology THAT much. Get outside and do something, eh? We would have better people skills, probably higher self-esteems, and more REAL friends.
I guess it's not that easy anymore, huh? So why do we complicate things? Why can't it just be 'going steady' or 'not going steady?' Or 'married' or 'not married?'
Instead we've got titles like girls are just one of the boys. Yeah right. Or some of us girls find it necessary to have one of those 'gay' friends (who is probably not gay at all...but just has really good style and won't make a move on you). Then there's that, "Oh, he's just like a brother (or sister) to me" those ones always end up getting married. Not sure why, because if he's like you're brother...well then marrying your brother is sick. Then there's make-out buddies, or 'friends with benefits'. BYU kids like to call it "NCMO" (Non-Commital Make-Outs). Obviously you wouldn't be kissing someone if you didn't have feelings for them! Maybe I'm just old-fashioned. But a kiss to me is like a, "hey, we're like...together (going steady) now...don't be kissin' no one else now, ya hear?" THEN, we have the 'complicated' status. Let's not jump into that shipwreck, the name should be enough for you. But wait, it gets worse. Then there's the friend zone... Dun, dun, duunnn....

This zoning of friends trend started a long, long time ago...
Let's take it back to Jr. High.
We'd seen movies, we've been told, we must have known that the smart kids were the ones that would end up making money. They would be the ones finishing college half way through high school, not having any student debt, and probably the ones with the biggest hearts too. And now that I'm a little older I can obviously see! Freak I screwed up! I made fun of boys who had braces and were super smart and I used them for better grades... All of them ended up in the friend zone and they also ended up super successful later in life... So why is it that they are the prime candidates for the friend zone?

What puts one in the friend zone, you ask?

They're the nice guys! The ones that don't want to seem pushy! They don't want to come on too strong...they might even feel more content by acting gay than professing their love and appreciation for you because who knows, maybe some girls don't love to hear that they are beautiful and worth something! Pansy boys... Well guess what, NICE GUYS FINISH LAST!!!

*Tip to you boys: if you want to get out of (or never enter) the friend zone don't be too shy! Be strong and let us know that you know how to handle a woman and she will probably let you handle her! ;) Also, don't be a tool. Don't 'accidentally' forget your wallet when taking a girl out. Do some activities she likes, anything but clothes/shoes/makeup shopping. That is friend zone territory! Don't assume she's one of the guys--ever. Because she's not. She's a girl and probably always will be. Cuddle with her while watching a movie one-on-one! Not just any friend will do that, and she knows that too. Don't let her get her own door, ask her out dates in person, and last but not least, BRING HER FLOWERS!!!! I can almost guarantee that she will melt in your arms!

 

So yeah those are all great words of advice...but the one thing that is puzzling me...and I am yet to understand is...

 

What happens when a girl gets 'Friend Zoned'?

 

Believe it or not, it can happen to girls. I'm saying this from personal experiences. Notice the 's' at the end of experience. Aaaaaand I have nothing to say to that. I am stumped and absolutely confused! A friend of mine kept asking me to come around, like all the time, and yet he still showed no interest. Why? I assumed he was shy. Nope, we talked about it. Turns out he threw me in the friend zone! Why, why, why did he do that!?!? What does a girl do when she gets thrown into the friend zone? If anyone has any comments please leave them here. I'm confused and find this quite silly actually!!

To that one person who reads everyone's blogs...yes you...*dun dun*

So the answer is yes! This is meant to be creepy and way odd and out there. Because that about sums up our friendship! But it has good purpose, I promise! Even if it is just for the sake of a few laughs. :) Enjoy!

So I'm not quite sure if this is correct... But I'm pretty sure that Rachelle and I officially became friends during cherry season about two years ago! We both got the best job there! We were the pit checkers!! All we had to do was go out every so often and check the cherries to make sure that no pits were coming through the machines. Easy. So we pretty much had some time on our hands. What did we do with all that free time you might wonder? Well other than talking about boys and whatnot, we would draw pictures! It was all fun and no feelings were intended to be hurt, I swear! We started this "Dear Napkin," and would just write funny little quotes or sayings on it. It was surprisingly a huge hit! So we took it the next step further... Rachelle, being the mean girl that she is, decided to start a burn book! Or a burn napkin, if you would. A nice burn book though. I'm not sure how she did it but she ended up quoting the Mean Girls movie and replaced their names with the names of our co-workers. In the best way possible, of course. Again, NO FEELINGS WERE INTENDED TO BE HURT!!!! One night, one of our co-workers (who was not mentioned in the burn book, whatsoever, because he's such a... anyways....) came up to me, not Rachelle, but ME with legit TEARS IN HIS EYES and a mad and confused look on his face. He charged right on up holding that stupid napkin that I wrote everything on and asked, "Why would you write this!? What kind of sick joke are you trying to pull?!" Oh Rachelle, you're such a good friend.... Tell me again why you didn't tell him that those were your words and that it WASN'T just me and why you let me take ALL. THE. BLAME....
I should've known right then and there that, that was just the beginning of our troubles.

In the midst of all that picture drawing and writing whatever, we would occasionally have to work. She was so nice, she would compliment me all the time about how good I smelt. She loved it. She would even sniff me at times! Just a little side note: my poor, little body was trying so hard to keep up with my new diet. It couldn't handle it at times. I was eating nothing but fruits and vegetables all day, every day. Wheat was out of my diet and dairy was on its way out! Lets just say that I was very, very gassy... all the time... There was just no stopping me! It hurt too bad to keep in and so sometimes it just found its way out... Unfortunately, Rachelle was usually around to get a whif of it. She'd say, "Merce you smell so good! Like a clean baby!" I was dying inside to tell her what that smell really was! Lol

Yes, she knows now and still remembers and loves the smell! hahaha Really though!

Rachelle and I have always been fortunate enough to be working the same job, sometimes at the same place...sometimes just down the street! But usually, we're doing the same thing at the same time! We did everything from call centers to cherries, hostessing to being sales associates and tellers too! My absolute most favorite memory of little miss Rachelle is when we were working at Dillard's together.

She was in the juniors department (cause she dresses her age) and I was in the womens department (cause I dress like I'm 60). From where I was stationed I could get a perfect view of her department!
So I called one phone on one side of her department. She was holding a ton of clothes that were easily taller than she was and she ran for that phone! As soon as I heard her say, "Juniors department..." I hung up and called the other line! She ran across the department with all the clothes in hand and hurried to answer the other phone! Same thing, as soon as she answered, I hung up! So I called the first line again! She STILL had the clothes in her hands and ran over to answer the phone! Same thing! And then I did it again! By this time I was absolutely DYING of laughter!! I called the other line one last time when she answered, "*trying to catch her breath* Juniors department, *more deep gasps* this is Rachelle..." Oh gosh I'm so mean to the noobs. So casually I walked over to her when I saw her just minding her own business. She didn't know she was just pranked!!! With this all replaying in my head I just couldn't help but burst out with laughter and tears while trying so hard to stay standing! She looks at me as if I've gotten sick or something then she decides to laugh with me! Then it was even funnier because she didn't know why we were laughing!! So she starts crying from laughter too and tries to ask me (now absolutely rolling around on the floor from inability to stay standing) what we were laughing about! It was so hard to tell her how it was me making her run from each side of the department to the other! But of course I did... And of course we laughed even harder!

Oh man...

Even though she totally didn't stand up for me at cherries... and she grabs my elbow in a way that makes me want to smack her face... and she truly doesn't know how to finish a word... and she's two feet shorter than I... and she says "dun dun" after everything... and she likes the way my farts smell... and she's incredibly gullible... and all she does is facebook stalk everyone... and read blogs... and is white on the inside... I don't know where Payson would be without that girl! Probably non-existant, really. And I don't know where I would be without this chica! Or if I would have any other memories as good as these ones!
Thanks so much Rash for bein you!
Lol

For only two days, he was mine.

The next morning came and I was woke up by a nurse, a nice one. She told me that there were a few tests that they had to do and that if I wanted any breakfast, I best be ordering that like now-ish! So I stood up, my legs were kind of shaky...but what do you expect after having a kid? I searched for the menu, picked up the phone to call the cafeteria when I felt something warm on my feet...

Yeah.

I was standing in a puddle of pee and I didn't even know it came out.

So instead of calling the cafeteria I called a nurse and told her, "We need a clean up on isle...(room number I was in)... I just laughed. I could already tell that this was going to be a life-long problem. The nurses assured me that it goes away in about 6 weeks. Boy were they wrong! Anyway, they had me take a shower and just brought me a little something to eat and a nice little gift with that. :) On a giant roller thing came my new little baby all wrapped up and super clean and healthy! I was so happy to see him! After my bladder gained a little bit of feeling, I could tell that if I made ANY movement, it would let everything loose. I could walk around, like my legs were fine... But my poor bladder... So yes, I got to wear a diaper. That day I showered about three times! Ugh, such an inconvenience. I wanted to spend every second I could with Cole!

That was the day that I had visitors come! There was my friend Briana who only wanted a pic with the baby and not with me... :-/ Max's family, my family, Grandma and Grandpa, the new parents, and of course, Gary. I'm sure there were more but those are just a few I remember! Ha, I got a picture of Allen (My uncle Max's boy) he's saying, "Is this my new baby brother??" hahaha

Sorry Allen... haha

Gary was there for most of the day, just to make sure I was doing okay. He held the baby while I cried behind a pillow because I didn't want to cry in front of him, not yet. The the nurse came in and ruined their special bonding moment. The nurse says, "So how's the bleeding? Has it stopped? And how about your bladder? Are you still peeing every time you move?" Well Gary there ya go! hahaha Layin' it all out on the table!! I was SO EMBARRASSED!! This is the boy I liked! I wanted to impress him!! Not scare him away... (Good luck doing that in this situation...)

So for that whole day I don't think that I got more than an hour with holding the baby. Then nighttime came too soon and they took him back to the nursery.

 

The next day, I thought I heard him cry so I waddled out of bed and practically ran to the nursery. When I got there I saw that he was actually just sleeping and about to have some more tests done. So I sat and watched while they styled his long hair and then started the tests. This was it. This was the last day that he would be mine. I made it clear to everyone that I didn't want anyone here.

Except for Gary.

He ditched school to be with me for most of the day.

But this was my day to have the baby all to myself. All for just one day. The only thing I wanted to do was just to hold him. All day long. We slept. I got to change his diaper. I fed him. I did his hair. We slept some more. And then he just layed on my chest.

 

It was time.

 

His new parents were here with a giant bundle of flowers, probably to say thank you. My case worker was doing everything she could to let me know that I could keep the baby. I was so irritated and just wanted to be alone with him some more! My time wasn't long enough!! My case worker saw that and understood that, so she excused everyone from the room. This was the time when I got to decide if this was right, or not. So holding the baby, I looked into his eyes, he was awake for the first time that day... I told him that I loved him. I know, I just know that he understood. I said a prayer and was filled with so much joy and happiness I knew that he was theirs. I wanted him, I really did. I don't think that any mother wants to give away her child. But he belonged to them. I put all trust and energy in The Lord and I don't believe that it was me that handed over the baby. So happy, I just cried. This was beautiful. I was completing a family. They couldn't do it on their own and I helped them.

I signed the papers.

His last name changed.

And then I was rolled out of the hospital in a wheel chair.

 

I was staying at my grandparents, who were out of town. My grandpa's mom had just passed away, just in time for this new miracle to come into this world. I walked into my room to see it absolutely filled with gifts, chocolates, food, cards, and flowers.

I couldn't believe that anyone would actually support me.

 

 

Thank you for everyone that helped out. I couldn't have gotten by without any of you. And thank you for all of you reading this, it means so much to me that you have taken time out of your day to read my story.

I love Cole, I love his family. If I could go back and change anything... I don't think I would. Well, maybe I would drink more water to try and avoid all these stretch marks!

Have a happy Friday everybody. :)