We've all heard the same things like, "You'll crave weird things one second and hate them the next..." or "You think you gotta pee now? Oh, just wait..." and "Don't get too attached to your food! You'll be throwing it up here any, oh there it goes..." then "You'll start to feel some 'pressure' towards the end..." Well yes, that is sort of how it goes. Lets just say that most of those are understatements. Not only that, but those are also the most common ones! Don't believe that's all it, though. There are still more problems to come! For example, one can develop strange allergies, taste aversion doesn't go away, and your ribs become a jungle gym. There's also a reason why they don't want you to eat or drink before or during the birthing process. Then the aftermath, whether it's bladder problems, eating problems, weight problems, your foot and hip size, the loss of hair, and of course, your tightness and the lack thereof...problem... It's all a good time, really! :)
I'm guessing that these were all forgotten by most mothers along with the pain of the actual baby-coming-out part. Now, my story isn't like everyone else's. I was very blessed through the whole thing (meaning that I didn't throw up...just yet) but I still had my fair share of complications!
The first thing that hit me was, of course, the bladder. My sweet, sweet grandpa decided that when he was putting internet into my room that the internet cord should be able to reach the bathroom in case I needed to do homework while doing the unmentionable. Ha, just for convenience, of course. What a sweet soul.
Not too much later I was hit with allergies. I tried to eat some yogurt with raspberry preserves and my tongue and throat swelled up! I was freaking out! I've never been allergic to ANYTHING!! Little to my knowledge, that was normal. I also didn't know that that was only the beginning of my allergies!
I lived in Moroni in a small blue house behind a gas station which was kiddie corner to a Mexi/American restaurant called Juanita's. The name suits it I guess. You would think that since it's the only restaurant in Moroni, the quality would be ... bearable. But it's not. Especially not for a preggo chick! Everyday I craved a burrito from there. Ooh how heavy the grease feels when it hits your tongue... Or that feeling that you'd be better off dead, it's so addicting. I had it one time when I was pregnant. I couldn't finish it. And the worse thing was, I couldn't throw it up, either. But the smell, oh that disgusting smell that I had craved for months before this! I now knew what taste aversion meant. Just looking at the place still makes me want to hurl. That might be the only thing that affected me like that.
Nearing the last few months your ribs should be feeling weary... Don't think it's ALL due to the fact that some creation of you and someone else is growing inside you causing it to stretch apart. No. He/she has discovered your ribs. They have in fact become some sort of park for the little one. I hear it's dark and boring in those wombs. I'd look for something to play on too! But beware, the perfect time of play is when you are trying to go to sleep so plan accordingly! And then after the babe comes out they have to reshape themselves, basically means that they could fit together tighter making you smaller. Now that's an interesting process! One of the few perks. :)
Ha, this one might be my favorite. Now, when the doctor says "No food or drink during the birthing process" ...they mean it! I, being a silly little girl, decided that doctors didn't know what they were talking about and they definitely didn't know how darn thirsty I was! So when they weren't around I had multiple people run and grab lots and lots of lemonade for me to drink in between pushes. Having only the hamburger I had the night before this night, all the sugar water they deposited into my arm, and too much lemonade...let's just say that I finally threw up... and to my surprise it tasted AMAZING!!! Hahahaha
Then there's after the birth, I woke up the next morning, baby was in the nursery all safe and sound when a nurse came in to tell me I should probably order something for breakfast. So I stood up (amazed I could stand), I reached for the phone and noticed that there was something warm on my feet. What could it be? So I looked down only to find me standing in my own urine. "When did that get there?" I said out loud. The nurses told me that would only be temporary and it probably just happened because of all the drugs I was on. Well...it hasn't really gone away. Oh yes, another perk.
I didn't really have an appetite when I finally got home after the couple of days with the baby. I didn't want to eat anything for a very long time. They said that was normal. But then when I tried to eat...I got sick! All of the sudden I was allergic to milk. What? And then I got tested for celiac disease and had that too! AND gastrointestinal disease. Life was great! I went into the hospital weighing 140. Came out at 138 (lol). And two months later I was down to 104! This was just MARVELOUS!!!!! My breast stayed the same size they were because I didn't breastfeed, I had woman hips, and FINALLY fit into a size zero!!! Oh, but my feet did grow. That was the only awkward part. haha
This was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Saturday, April 27, 2013
10 Different Ways to Have Someone Be Quiet.
These all work! I promise!
1. Yell, "Shut your trap hole!!"
2. Simply place one finger over their mouth. And hold it there.
3. Whisper, "Shhh... Say no more..."
4. Shove food in their mouth when they least expect it.
5. Tackle them to the ground. And DON'T get up.
6. Tune them out. (Guys are especially good at this one!)
7. Fart and yell "Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it!" just like Spongebob. Or if you don't like that then just clear your throat!
8. Play dead.
9. Act as if you've just seen a spider! And it's on them!!!
10. Last but not least, kiss them. They'll never know what hit them!
1. Yell, "Shut your trap hole!!"
2. Simply place one finger over their mouth. And hold it there.
3. Whisper, "Shhh... Say no more..."
4. Shove food in their mouth when they least expect it.
5. Tackle them to the ground. And DON'T get up.
6. Tune them out. (Guys are especially good at this one!)
7. Fart and yell "Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it!" just like Spongebob. Or if you don't like that then just clear your throat!
8. Play dead.
9. Act as if you've just seen a spider! And it's on them!!!
10. Last but not least, kiss them. They'll never know what hit them!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Two wedding dresses and no groom.
Well folks, this is where I'm at. This is how it's all going down. Picture that scene in The Notebook where Allie is sitting in the tub with her veil on, turning the water on and off... that's me right about now.
Just barely reaching a two year (on and off) relationship we decide we've had enough of ... something. I'm not sure what broke us up that time! I just remember trying to move on and something about us sitting in the car, me trying to get out, when he quickly drives with me still in the car crying that he doesn't want to let me go. Our relationship has always been one like on The Notebook.
He even convinced me he was ready to propose.
All I know is that this break lasted about a month, maybe two. I started dating someone else in that time period. I guess it was nice to see how good I had it. This new beau was a momentary Mr. Wonderful! Maybe too wonderful? At first he was so strong and sweet, and on the ballroom team! That's probably the most of it! And my, oh my, was he handsome or what! And oh, he understood girls so well... This was all great except for wait, why was I at home on a Friday night reading "He's Just Not That Into You" if he's supposably 'into' me?? Long story short, we quit talking the moment I noticed this in him. Turns out I'm very high maintenance and require lots and lots of attention. But not just from anyone. I wanted it from Gary. But after what we'd been through and with me dating someone else... I couldn't go back to him making him look like a rebound. That's just not right.
I felt sorry for Gary and about this almost exact, pathetic situation I've put us into so many times. To make things worse, I had more than our last goodbye weighing on my mind... All through this month of love, Gary was dropping things off on my doorstep; hilarious cards, adorable balloon animals, precious flowers, and all of my favorite candies. I was suppose to be getting over him! Not drooling over the thought of him! So I called him once, to say thanks. Then again. Then we ended with I love you. Oops! It was just an old habit. Then it happened again. And you can guess what happened next. We were back together. It was just like a Taylor Swift song. So sweet and how wonderful we are when we're together.
We had marriage in mind... Well, I thought we both did. I picked out a fairly affordable ring. It is very petite, a small mountain of diamonds. It's a three-stone. It signifies the past we have, the present, and all that's yet to come. It is perfect.
He proposed! I said yes and meant it with all my heart. Although this was without the ring...it was still wonderful. Finally my wildest dreams are coming true! I get this man I've shared everything with AND my best friend for the rest of eternity! It must've also been too good to be true. The disagreements started again. He was very adament in getting married in March... I sure love the spring and all of the deadness of March and all...but I was kind of hoping for something a little sooner. Unless he meant last March. Then I'm totally down! But I guess not. Oh well, we could compromise on a date later. In the meanwhile, it's time to go dress shopping! Oh no...
First time out... It happened.
I found the dress of my dreams. I was pretty sad inside for some reason but it also made me smile! It was absolutely NOTHING like the kind of dress I thought I'd wear. I was looking for ivory and all lace and jewels and everything girly! But my step dad picked out one that was just marvelous and fit in every possible way! And. It was on sale. I bought it right then and there. And the flower girls' basket... and the pillow for the rings. And some preserving kit and colors swatches for the wedding. Somewhere in the midst of all this... Gary and I seemed to drift... Quite heavily, actually. I started spending time in Payson with my family just working out and planning the wedding and would be perfectly content with not seeing him for a day or two here or there. What was wrong with me? I always needed his time. I always needed him there. He was always there. This was our wedding I was trying to plan.
Is that what he wanted though?
We started arguing. No more disagreeing. Straight up fights over nothing, of course. This hurt so bad... Why did he tell me he would marry me only to tell me later that he's not ready and doesn't want to go through with this for a number of years? It's not fair! Why did he have to get my hopes up...
So we broke up.
Day after breakup: today. Mom decides that she'll love anyone I bring through the door. Even him. She has an idea. I should try on her wedding dress. It's beautiful. And it almost fits. I break down and cry... I call him to see if he could comfort me and end up crying in my little brother's arms.
And now I'm here.
Listening to Taylor Swift... What a beautiful, tragic, love affair. Just looking at my two beautiful wedding dresses and nobody to wear them for.....so I guess... here they are.
This is my mama's dress that she wore five and a half years ago. And this is mine... beautiful.
Just barely reaching a two year (on and off) relationship we decide we've had enough of ... something. I'm not sure what broke us up that time! I just remember trying to move on and something about us sitting in the car, me trying to get out, when he quickly drives with me still in the car crying that he doesn't want to let me go. Our relationship has always been one like on The Notebook.
He even convinced me he was ready to propose.
All I know is that this break lasted about a month, maybe two. I started dating someone else in that time period. I guess it was nice to see how good I had it. This new beau was a momentary Mr. Wonderful! Maybe too wonderful? At first he was so strong and sweet, and on the ballroom team! That's probably the most of it! And my, oh my, was he handsome or what! And oh, he understood girls so well... This was all great except for wait, why was I at home on a Friday night reading "He's Just Not That Into You" if he's supposably 'into' me?? Long story short, we quit talking the moment I noticed this in him. Turns out I'm very high maintenance and require lots and lots of attention. But not just from anyone. I wanted it from Gary. But after what we'd been through and with me dating someone else... I couldn't go back to him making him look like a rebound. That's just not right.
I felt sorry for Gary and about this almost exact, pathetic situation I've put us into so many times. To make things worse, I had more than our last goodbye weighing on my mind... All through this month of love, Gary was dropping things off on my doorstep; hilarious cards, adorable balloon animals, precious flowers, and all of my favorite candies. I was suppose to be getting over him! Not drooling over the thought of him! So I called him once, to say thanks. Then again. Then we ended with I love you. Oops! It was just an old habit. Then it happened again. And you can guess what happened next. We were back together. It was just like a Taylor Swift song. So sweet and how wonderful we are when we're together.
We had marriage in mind... Well, I thought we both did. I picked out a fairly affordable ring. It is very petite, a small mountain of diamonds. It's a three-stone. It signifies the past we have, the present, and all that's yet to come. It is perfect.
He proposed! I said yes and meant it with all my heart. Although this was without the ring...it was still wonderful. Finally my wildest dreams are coming true! I get this man I've shared everything with AND my best friend for the rest of eternity! It must've also been too good to be true. The disagreements started again. He was very adament in getting married in March... I sure love the spring and all of the deadness of March and all...but I was kind of hoping for something a little sooner. Unless he meant last March. Then I'm totally down! But I guess not. Oh well, we could compromise on a date later. In the meanwhile, it's time to go dress shopping! Oh no...
First time out... It happened.
I found the dress of my dreams. I was pretty sad inside for some reason but it also made me smile! It was absolutely NOTHING like the kind of dress I thought I'd wear. I was looking for ivory and all lace and jewels and everything girly! But my step dad picked out one that was just marvelous and fit in every possible way! And. It was on sale. I bought it right then and there. And the flower girls' basket... and the pillow for the rings. And some preserving kit and colors swatches for the wedding. Somewhere in the midst of all this... Gary and I seemed to drift... Quite heavily, actually. I started spending time in Payson with my family just working out and planning the wedding and would be perfectly content with not seeing him for a day or two here or there. What was wrong with me? I always needed his time. I always needed him there. He was always there. This was our wedding I was trying to plan.
Is that what he wanted though?
We started arguing. No more disagreeing. Straight up fights over nothing, of course. This hurt so bad... Why did he tell me he would marry me only to tell me later that he's not ready and doesn't want to go through with this for a number of years? It's not fair! Why did he have to get my hopes up...
So we broke up.
Day after breakup: today. Mom decides that she'll love anyone I bring through the door. Even him. She has an idea. I should try on her wedding dress. It's beautiful. And it almost fits. I break down and cry... I call him to see if he could comfort me and end up crying in my little brother's arms.
And now I'm here.
Listening to Taylor Swift... What a beautiful, tragic, love affair. Just looking at my two beautiful wedding dresses and nobody to wear them for.....so I guess... here they are.
This is my mama's dress that she wore five and a half years ago. And this is mine... beautiful.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Our Song
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending
Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldnt do
We could be married
And then wed be happy
Wouldn't it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice
-The Beach Boys
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending
Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldnt do
We could be married
And then wed be happy
Wouldn't it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice
-The Beach Boys
Monday, April 15, 2013
Rootbeer and Protein Bars
Finally sound asleep, I hear a door open.. Was it my door? Wait, it shut. ...Why is the front room light on? What time is it? WHY is there a guy's voice!!?? Absolutely confused I lay in bed... my mind is racing. I think that's why it was so hard to fall asleep just two hours before. I finally put two and two together. I walked into the apartment to find a strange face...and strange hands...all over my roommate! He introduced himself as Jordan. "Jor Jor" I assumed. I remember at about 1:00am I could still hear them talking with no end in sight...that is, until I covered my ears with my pillow. Oh! My roommate had a guy sleepover! (insert gasp here.) A smirk finds a spot on my face. A rather large spot, might I add. My roommate who was (until this night) still a VL!! Oooh hoo hoo I'll bet she got some! And then some!! HAHA!! Atta girl!
3:45am: Still just laying there, mind racing almost as fast as the time...I can hear birds outside my window. Spring, welcome, stay as long as you'd like. I go over my list of To-Do's for the day and make a mental checklist. First things first. I've got to get out of these blankets I am BURNING UP!! Some water would be nice, why is all I have a bottle of rootbeer next to my bed? Then, I should probably get rid of this monster breath. Oh, I have to go to the bathroom...don't feel like it though. Get ready for the gym? I'm already wearing shorts so what else could I do? So of course I call Gary. No answer. Dang. Try again. It's 4:15am WHERE DID THE TIME GO!?!? Wow. A half hour passed and I still have 45 minutes till I need to get up. My roommate walks in. Knowing that I'm awake, I'm sure she's embarrassed. I mean, she's the one that's like, "Follow the rules! Oh my gosh this person is doing WHAT? I must judge them. Kissing is so immoral... And I'm so perfect." She doesn't say ALL of that, not out loud, of course. She lays her head on her as-tall-as-me bed and just stands there. I wonder what was on her mind... ;) hahaha sinner, sinner chicken dinner.
I downloaded an app on my new iPhone. Which, by the way, is nothing special (I would like to add in case my boyfriend reads this--who is totally against iPhones). And the app was super lame anyway.
Delete.
But hey, trying to figure it out helped me pass a half hour. I guess I should get up now. I roll out of bed then with a burst of energy I quickly find the bathroom where I can brush my teeth. What happened to my toothbrush? Oh, we used it for cleaning checks...which we totally passed!! I thought I got a new one though? Ohh... My brain can't handle this deep of thinking this early in the morning... 10am is considered early for me, after all.
4:55am: Does time in the morning usually go by faster than the rest of the day? Probably. I called Gary again. Still no answer... We went to bed on uneasy terms but when I asked about the gym he said it's still on...so I assumed we would still be going? Maybe not? I cracked open the window and climbed back in bed. My stomach was absolutely YELLING at me! I look on my dresser, I see rootbeer, protein shakes and protein bars. Maybe just another sip of rootbeer. I climed into bed and decided to occupy my mind, so I called Gary again. And again. And again...and again. By this time I'm figuring he turned the volume down on his phone. Shoot. I'm fine not going to the gym but what if he can't wake up for work!?! Now I'm all worried about him, dang it. Times like these I wish I had a car...
It's now 6:10am. I am feeling sick to my stomach and I can't decide if it's because of all the rootbeer I drank, the improper use of a protein bar...or due to lack of sleep. Maybe it's my nerves? Today I'm suppose to find out if I got my dream job or not! Again, too much for this sleepy brain. Tired finally hit me. Too bad it couldn't have happened a good 8 hours ago...
Well, good morning to everyone. And goodnight to everyone else.
3:45am: Still just laying there, mind racing almost as fast as the time...I can hear birds outside my window. Spring, welcome, stay as long as you'd like. I go over my list of To-Do's for the day and make a mental checklist. First things first. I've got to get out of these blankets I am BURNING UP!! Some water would be nice, why is all I have a bottle of rootbeer next to my bed? Then, I should probably get rid of this monster breath. Oh, I have to go to the bathroom...don't feel like it though. Get ready for the gym? I'm already wearing shorts so what else could I do? So of course I call Gary. No answer. Dang. Try again. It's 4:15am WHERE DID THE TIME GO!?!? Wow. A half hour passed and I still have 45 minutes till I need to get up. My roommate walks in. Knowing that I'm awake, I'm sure she's embarrassed. I mean, she's the one that's like, "Follow the rules! Oh my gosh this person is doing WHAT? I must judge them. Kissing is so immoral... And I'm so perfect." She doesn't say ALL of that, not out loud, of course. She lays her head on her as-tall-as-me bed and just stands there. I wonder what was on her mind... ;) hahaha sinner, sinner chicken dinner.
I downloaded an app on my new iPhone. Which, by the way, is nothing special (I would like to add in case my boyfriend reads this--who is totally against iPhones). And the app was super lame anyway.
Delete.
But hey, trying to figure it out helped me pass a half hour. I guess I should get up now. I roll out of bed then with a burst of energy I quickly find the bathroom where I can brush my teeth. What happened to my toothbrush? Oh, we used it for cleaning checks...which we totally passed!! I thought I got a new one though? Ohh... My brain can't handle this deep of thinking this early in the morning... 10am is considered early for me, after all.
4:55am: Does time in the morning usually go by faster than the rest of the day? Probably. I called Gary again. Still no answer... We went to bed on uneasy terms but when I asked about the gym he said it's still on...so I assumed we would still be going? Maybe not? I cracked open the window and climbed back in bed. My stomach was absolutely YELLING at me! I look on my dresser, I see rootbeer, protein shakes and protein bars. Maybe just another sip of rootbeer. I climed into bed and decided to occupy my mind, so I called Gary again. And again. And again...and again. By this time I'm figuring he turned the volume down on his phone. Shoot. I'm fine not going to the gym but what if he can't wake up for work!?! Now I'm all worried about him, dang it. Times like these I wish I had a car...
It's now 6:10am. I am feeling sick to my stomach and I can't decide if it's because of all the rootbeer I drank, the improper use of a protein bar...or due to lack of sleep. Maybe it's my nerves? Today I'm suppose to find out if I got my dream job or not! Again, too much for this sleepy brain. Tired finally hit me. Too bad it couldn't have happened a good 8 hours ago...
Well, good morning to everyone. And goodnight to everyone else.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Just a little shout out
Thanks Gary Beary for being there for me for so long and for coming with/taking me shopping everywhere I choose and for staying up late with me just to hold me. And also, thank you for always sharing your food even after I've ordered like three times as much as you... Aaaaand, thank you for driving all this way to come get me right as we speak even though you're on call! It means THE WORLD to me! Also, this pic made me think of us. I'll be the kid and you can be the mom. lol
LOVE YOU GARY BEARY!!!!!! xoxo
LOVE YOU GARY BEARY!!!!!! xoxo
Friday, April 5, 2013
It's just the beginning.
There once was a girl, her name was Claire. She was living a great life, many could be envious of her for it because it seemed as if things would just land in her lap. She could have anything she wanted but she wasn't happy. She wasn't like that celebrity who cried every night because she wasn't loved; it was more along the lines of she wasn't doing what she knew she wanted to do. She knew deep down in her heart that there was more out there for her.
Claire was quite the dreamer, she dreamt of traveling to many different countries carrying nothing but a backpack. She loves the outdoors and meeting new people, she's always wanted to live in other types of cultures and to learn different languages but she never got around to doing it. She always wondered why. Maybe she just never had the means to do it. And when she would talk to her friends and family about it of course they would make plans but they would never follow through. Not only were there empty promises but she also notice that sometimes they would talk her out of it, especially if it wasn't something that they were up to. If they weren't doing that they would turn this so-called 'trip' into something she never intended it to be. It's not like she ever wanted anything crazy...just new, or different.
With her realizing all of this and having to take it in so often, it made it hard to want to stick around with the people that would...we could say, hold her down... She was positive they didn't hold her back on purpose, maybe they just really liked her company and didn't want to be without it? Or maybe they were just too cautious of her safety. But for some reason, she wasn't. She was very trusting, some would say that she had too much trust in her fellow man. She lived off of one rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It was simple and it made life easier.
She's moved around from place to place year after year and jumped from job to job in even shorter periods of time. Although she was climbing some sort of ladder of success, she still couldn't seem to find what she was looking for! After long days of boredness, monotony, and getting back to the old grind; she decided to devote her time to researching a different lifestyle.
She narrowed her choices down to two options; one would be that she could marry the guy she's been with for a couple of years and start a family. This was the more realistic idea of the two but still probably wouldn't happen at the rate things were going. Problem is, she's dating a guy much younger than she and hasn't had the same life experiences she has...meaning that he's not as ready as she felt she was. For example, she's finished with school, makes decent money with a pretty cushy job, already had a baby, and landed herself a house right out of high school. She would like to believe that she's ready for a family with the only person she can see herself with. She would be so happy if he could make her all his and they could get their little house together and have little kids and be able to climb giant mountains together. But he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't budge, no matter how she asked, or how she presented the idea he would turn it down. It was almost safe to say that he didn't want her but didn't want to see her with anyone else...even more. She thought otherwise. Claire was always patient with him. She loves him, after all.
The other option was that she could move to the city and live a life completely opposite than the one she has now...but one she's always lusted for. It basically goes against everything she's been taught, Claire was ready for an adventure though and this one has more than just presented itsself and she is ready to do it... assuming she can't get the man she loves. Even though it goes against her religion, she's always wanted to live a life with a lover, she's always kind of lusted how relationships go on movies or in a Taylor Swift song...like how they live in the city in a cute little loft, drive nice cars on the weekends, walk to work, have a ton of friends to go out with then find some guy and ..... let things fall into place momentarily. Although it's a change (which is what Claire is looking for) Claire is certain that if she does choose this lifestyle that she'll be terribly unhappy though. So why would she want this life style if she's already unhappy? It's too bad that the Hollywood actors are ONLY actors...and why do all of Taylor Swift's songs have to end in a break-up? All of this is spinning in Claire's mind. It's driving her insane! Why does it have to be this way? Why can't she just get married and start a family? Why, why, why?!
A couple of things one should know about Miss Claire, she's very easy going, she loves change even if that just means to rearrange her bedroom, buy a new wardrobe, or randomly quit her job and move. Anything will do. It seems that she was raised that way. Her mother still to this day is not only eclectic but she also rearranges every room...about daily. Her father, well, he wasn't really there for her growing up, he was too busy sleeping around. Maybe that's why she can't sit still? Maybe she just doesn't know how? Will marrying her best friend help? What if it doesn't? Will moving to the city calm her?
So now we're all wondering what she will do. Let people shoot down her dreams forever? Let her best friends hold her back? Or help her move forward in a more acceptable manner? Or will she have to go out and rebel just to show that she has an opinion of her own? Does she have an opinion of her own?
Claire was quite the dreamer, she dreamt of traveling to many different countries carrying nothing but a backpack. She loves the outdoors and meeting new people, she's always wanted to live in other types of cultures and to learn different languages but she never got around to doing it. She always wondered why. Maybe she just never had the means to do it. And when she would talk to her friends and family about it of course they would make plans but they would never follow through. Not only were there empty promises but she also notice that sometimes they would talk her out of it, especially if it wasn't something that they were up to. If they weren't doing that they would turn this so-called 'trip' into something she never intended it to be. It's not like she ever wanted anything crazy...just new, or different.
With her realizing all of this and having to take it in so often, it made it hard to want to stick around with the people that would...we could say, hold her down... She was positive they didn't hold her back on purpose, maybe they just really liked her company and didn't want to be without it? Or maybe they were just too cautious of her safety. But for some reason, she wasn't. She was very trusting, some would say that she had too much trust in her fellow man. She lived off of one rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It was simple and it made life easier.
She's moved around from place to place year after year and jumped from job to job in even shorter periods of time. Although she was climbing some sort of ladder of success, she still couldn't seem to find what she was looking for! After long days of boredness, monotony, and getting back to the old grind; she decided to devote her time to researching a different lifestyle.
She narrowed her choices down to two options; one would be that she could marry the guy she's been with for a couple of years and start a family. This was the more realistic idea of the two but still probably wouldn't happen at the rate things were going. Problem is, she's dating a guy much younger than she and hasn't had the same life experiences she has...meaning that he's not as ready as she felt she was. For example, she's finished with school, makes decent money with a pretty cushy job, already had a baby, and landed herself a house right out of high school. She would like to believe that she's ready for a family with the only person she can see herself with. She would be so happy if he could make her all his and they could get their little house together and have little kids and be able to climb giant mountains together. But he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't budge, no matter how she asked, or how she presented the idea he would turn it down. It was almost safe to say that he didn't want her but didn't want to see her with anyone else...even more. She thought otherwise. Claire was always patient with him. She loves him, after all.
The other option was that she could move to the city and live a life completely opposite than the one she has now...but one she's always lusted for. It basically goes against everything she's been taught, Claire was ready for an adventure though and this one has more than just presented itsself and she is ready to do it... assuming she can't get the man she loves. Even though it goes against her religion, she's always wanted to live a life with a lover, she's always kind of lusted how relationships go on movies or in a Taylor Swift song...like how they live in the city in a cute little loft, drive nice cars on the weekends, walk to work, have a ton of friends to go out with then find some guy and ..... let things fall into place momentarily. Although it's a change (which is what Claire is looking for) Claire is certain that if she does choose this lifestyle that she'll be terribly unhappy though. So why would she want this life style if she's already unhappy? It's too bad that the Hollywood actors are ONLY actors...and why do all of Taylor Swift's songs have to end in a break-up? All of this is spinning in Claire's mind. It's driving her insane! Why does it have to be this way? Why can't she just get married and start a family? Why, why, why?!
A couple of things one should know about Miss Claire, she's very easy going, she loves change even if that just means to rearrange her bedroom, buy a new wardrobe, or randomly quit her job and move. Anything will do. It seems that she was raised that way. Her mother still to this day is not only eclectic but she also rearranges every room...about daily. Her father, well, he wasn't really there for her growing up, he was too busy sleeping around. Maybe that's why she can't sit still? Maybe she just doesn't know how? Will marrying her best friend help? What if it doesn't? Will moving to the city calm her?
So now we're all wondering what she will do. Let people shoot down her dreams forever? Let her best friends hold her back? Or help her move forward in a more acceptable manner? Or will she have to go out and rebel just to show that she has an opinion of her own? Does she have an opinion of her own?
"It was called Menstrual Cycles, John." "Well that's an unfortunate name."
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
April 2nd, 2011
Two years ago this day just so happened to land on a saturday night. It was a cool night. A light April shower. And the night before I was shipped off to Mt. View hospital for the next few days to start the process that I had been dreading for so long. I called this guy I'd been texting for about a month now. Even though I had known him in person for about three years prior to this I still was all caught up with the butterflies accompanying my baby in my belly. I had reason to be nervous! We met at the Santaquin Park. He looked me up and down, noticing the basketball belly covered by my not-so-maternity shirt, half covered by my sweater. I looked him up and down as well. He hasn't changed much. I remembered this guy as a walking, talking, lolli-pop! His head was so large in comparison to his scrony body! Or maybe it was just his hair that was so large? But my, oh my, had he grown into his head/hair. He was 17 then and I was 20. Awkward? Not really, I had always thought he was more of a mature person than all the other guys his age. We talked for a while and even though he was late for curfew he didn't go home. He was there to help a friend in need. We didn't intend on loving each other... it kind of just happened. :) He drove me home and walked me to the door where he asked for a hug. Imagine an awkward, first date, end of the night, you don't really know this guy, and feelings are unsure, doorstep hug. It was just like that. I put one arm around him when reached for the second...my belly got in the way...but we kept trying. After that night I knew, I knew he was the one for me! I've seen him nearly everyday after that. He was the only guy I had let see me like that, he was the only one to ask to feel the baby, the only one to ask for a hug, and the only one that could still love me to this day after everything we've been through.
Love him!
Thank you so much Gary Beary and ...
Happy TWO YEAR Anniversary!!!
Love him!
Thank you so much Gary Beary and ...
Happy TWO YEAR Anniversary!!!
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