I live in an awesome home. No sarcasm there. I love everyone SO MUCH!! So, I ask myself; why am I only there every other three days? Is it because that's how long Gary and I can be together without getting in too big of a dispute or start to get bored with each other? Is it because I am trying to be independent? Or is it because life at home gets so rocky, so often?
When I'm around... It is drama-free. Most of the time. Make that about 60% of the time. We all get along, we all do everything together, we generally share the same views, and we generally don't step on each others toes... Probably because we don't like it when our toes are stepped on. Maybe that's just my view.
But then I leave for my usual couple of days and come back and someone wants to move out and someone else wants a divorce and another someone just got done crying from just one someone who usually can't keep their tone down oh, but it wasn't their fault.... Holy freak! When did all of this happen? WHAT HAPPENED??? And why can't any of this happen when I'm there?
I'm definitely the type of person to intervene. If two people are being stupid and both saying silly things that should have no relevance whatsoever in this life.... I like to step in. Sometimes it can be fun. You know, gotta laugh somehow!
The last time I can remember being able to cut-in (strongly NOT advised. EVER.) was just a few months ago. A simple misunderstanding, an act of jealousy and egotistical immaturity, turned into WW4759 in my family! I wish I could say I let things run their course but when two men that are so important to me (other than Gary) get in a heated discussion about nothing.... I just had to step in. Little ol' me didn't do any good between two large men easily both twice my size. Let's just take a minute and thank The Lord that nobody was hurt. Physically. As for me, my heart was shattered into a million pieces. These two men that I had looked up to so much in my life were acting like children towards each other.
I had to let them know how that affected my view towards them, and same with the family, mostly me though.
Aside from big boys fighting, what else does every fight need?
A victim.
Not just any victim! But someone who is really in the wrong but cries the loudest to cause more havoc. Someone who can't take the blame, never will take the blame, and will always play/become the victim. No names needed.
Through a weird series of apologies and awkward hugs I am proud to say that this family is (for the most part) back to normal. Well... That's what I thought. Till I got home tonight after yet, another one of my few day trips, everyone seemed normal. Almost too normal. They weren't talking to each other... But they weren't sad or mad. Not on the outside at least... I figured it's because their favorite show was on. One went to bed only saying goodnight to me, when the other says he has to go to the courthouse tomorrow. In all honesty I thought that one of his ex-wives had called him there. But no. He's going for divorce papers.
This caught me so off guard. He must be kidding. They seemed fine! They seemed good! And happy! Why, oh why do these things have to happen? That wasn't the only piece of news that caught me off guard. I learned that one of my old best friends was also getting a divorce. What is the world coming to? Why can't people just STAY IN LOVE??? Would it be better to never love at all? Family or friends? Is this all just a big miscommunication? Someone please tell me, is this normal? Is my family normal??? Is quitting normal? Or hiding ones feelings and emotions from their partner...normal? Is falling in and out of love so drastically...normal? Actually, what IS normal?
Questioning everything I've ever known...for the second time... I wonder, is it me? It must be. Does my family not fight when I'm around because I'll tell them that they are being inappropriate? Do I act the way I do in my relationships because of what I've seen or grown up with? Does everybody?
Someone tell me... Is this normal? .......??
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